HomeFamilyPunch My Wife In The Face...repeatedly

Punch My Wife In The Face…repeatedly

OMG! Girl Ninja needs to be sent to jail. I’m thinking life without the possibility of parole is a fitting sentence. What crime has she committed you ask? Well… I logged in to our checking account yesterday to browse through our recent transactions (I do this everyday to make sure our accounts haven’t been compromised). When I came to the “Pending transactions” section I noticed there were two charges. The first to a bakery in San Diego for $9.43. No big deal, Girl Ninja probably got a sandwich with a friend. The second transaction was a $21.75 ATM withdrawal.

Now I don’t know about you, but every ATM I’ve seen only pays out in whole dollars. How did she manage to take out $21.75? You don’t have to be a Special Agent to figure out what went down. Girl Ninja took money out from a non Wells Fargo ATM. That ATM charged us $1.75 for her $20 withdrawal.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Get over it Ninja it was less than two dollars. Relax.” You can look at it like that, but my TI-83 says that’s an 8.75% fee. EIGHT POINT SEVEN FIVE!!!! Homegirl is lucky I’m 4,000 miles away right now…just sayin’

Fortunately, our bank doesn’t charge us for using another institutions ATM so we avoided what could have easily been another $2 fee. Obviously I’m being a bit of a drama queen right now, but seriously paying 8.75% to get access to your own money is insane. Like Charles Manson to the power of Charlie Sheen insane! I’m seriously starting to reconsider my recent post about the joys of combined banking.

She got lucky though, this atrocity happened on her birthday. If it were any of the other 364 days this year she’d be in the doghouse, but I’ll give her a pass just this once. But remember Girl Ninja, debit/credit cards are like a GPS unit. Every time you swipe I know where you’ve been and what you’re doing… I’M WATCHING YOU!!!!

Oh, and did I mention tells me there are over 25 fee-free ATM’s within a 5 mile radius of our place?

End rant.




  1. Good god, where I’m from that’s a standard. Toronto ATMs charge AT LEAST this. I’ve even seen “10%” charges in ATMs at convenience stores – so if you take out 100 bucks it charges you 10. It’s a goddamned tragedy.

  2. The good news is that male prostitutes usually cost more than $20 so whatever purchase she was secretly making, it probably wasn’t that.

  3. I try my best to withdraw cash from my bank’s ATM’s; Hubby’s a little more of a free spirit, but we, for the most part, only take out cash once a week for gas and groceries.

  4. I was in DC last week and nearly passed out when I saw an ATM that charged a $3.75 fee! What is this world coming to? Sucked too because the company was taking advantage of people in a hotel. Needless to say, I did not get cash at that ATM. Or any other ATM on the trip! I came prepared!

  5. $1.75 isn’t bad at all. Around here $3+ is standard. Because the fee is so high, if and when I do need to hit up an ATM I usually pull out $200-$300 dollars. I know the cash will end up being spent eventually, and it brings the percentage of the transaction fee down. Maybe not the best policy, but it works for me. And I have no ATMs near me that are in my bank network. My Bank is a credit union 800 miles away and they only have a limited number of branches there.

    Also, as an end note. If I know I am going to be needing cash (drinks out with a bunch of people, etc) I’ll use my debit card to buy something small at the grocery store and get as much cash back as I can. Although that is usually capped at $40. but it helps limit my drinking!

  6. It’s really the banks that need to be punched in the face rather than GN (unless you’re into kinky things you haven’t told us about yet). That said, I don’t withdraw from a “foreign” bank unless I have no other practicable option, and I drive out of my way (thus consuming easily $1.75 in gas) to find a branch of my “home” bank.

  7. My husband made that mistake a few (bajillion) times before he finally understood that lots of $2 and $3 fees for taking money out of the bank led to a very unhappy wife at home. That was when we first got married though. Now I am happy to say he is almost more frugal than I am (and that’s saying a lot!)

    • Apparently not anymore, and come to find out, it get’s worse. I thought WF never charged a fee for using someone elses ATM, but apparently that’s not correct either. Since I’m in Germany there are no WF here, I’ve had to use local banks to get Euro out. Upon my third use of the local ATM I noticed a $2.50 charge. Apparently the first two withdrawals are free, but everything after that is $2.50.

      • HA! You failed to remind me of those charges I graciously forgave you of like the WONDERFUL wife I am… 🙂

  8. You better hope she doesn’t read this our you will be the one sleeping in the dog house. Everyone knows you don’t wear the pants Ninja.

  9. Those fees are out of control, but this is just another way for them to cleverly make money. I just wish I had a clever scheme too. Like for ever time someone stepped on my foot/bumped into me, I could charge them a fee.

  10. maybe i am too much of a free spirit here but i dont see the big deal, she needed cash, she got the cash. the ATM is a service (dispensing cash) provides to customers by a bank, who must charge customers (AMT fees) for that service. if you dont want fees just use your debit card for purchases, no fees for that. Cash is really only needed at garage sales and small towns. i do agree that the fees are large if you take out small amounts of money – 10% for a $20 withdrawl but 2 bucks for a $300 withdrawl is 0.67% which isnt that bad

  11. I felt like I experienced everything my wife did in Hawaii because I tracked her through our Chase Bank Checking account. I agree, it is the best GPS!

  12. I’m right there with you on this one! I go through this with my husband about once every 2 months. I always tell him, if you’re going to withdraw money from an ATM that charges us a fee, at least make it a worthwhile withdrawal — not just 20 bucks! It’s a small consolation, but at least the fee won’t be that high of a percentage. Now, I just give him an allowance so he won’t be tempted to do this!

  13. Why not take a look at Ally Bank? I evaluated most online banks after WaMu was purchased by Chase (and then began sucking). ING is good as well, but Ally reimburses all ATM fees, period, without limit.

    • Well we normally don’t take money out from other ATM’s, so it has never been an issue before. Although I’ve had to do it a bunch while in Germany, I’ll get reimbursed for the fee. Ally might not charge you to use another banks ATM, but that other bank is gonna charge you. I hear good things about Ally though, I’ll have to check em out!

      • Understood. I meant to say Ally will reimburse you for the OTHER bank’s charges as well, which I’ve had happen a few times. Much easier to get cash when you don’t have to worry about which ATM you use!

  14. I’m telling you…you should have gond with USAA. I get ATM charge from other banks back! Too boot I live on the east coast where there are no USAA ATM/Branches…..Have I mentioned how mch I love my bank!

    for those wondering I am not military affiliated….just a smart shopper!

    • I second that — go get a USAA account. They reimburse you for the other bank’s ATM fees, so you can just go to any ATM you want and not worry if they charge you a $4.50 fee, as you get it back at the end of the month.

      Plus, deposit checks @ home with a scanner (or taking an iphone picture of them), and an iPad application that is really slick, what’s not to like?

  15. Looks like you finally ran off all the political correctness police. I just knew when I scanned through the comments someone would be on your ninja-a__ for that headline.

    I get ideas and permission from Mrs. Dr Dean all the time-nothing to be ashamed of (honey, was that all right to write?)

  16. That is the reason i will never use a chase bank ATM ever again. I honestly don’t mind the $1.00 fees if i really need the cash, but chase tried to charge me $3.00 to get cash. They are really pushing the boundaries with that amount.
    I considered going in and saying something, but then i just decided to carry on with my life instead 🙂

  17. I wonder why so many people use ATM’s so much. I always have around $200 on me. I must be weird.

  18. My boyfriend was once at a strip club that had an attached shop of some sort, which is where the ATM was. The fee was $18!!! I didn’t even know that was legal! When you’re desperate for cash, I suppose you’ll pay anything! (And to be clear, my boyfriend was not trying to get cash, he’s kind of afraid of strippers. lol)

  19. Not to play devil’s advocate here, but I work at a credit union and it costs us money to maintain an ATM. So yes, Ninja may be accessing his own money, but not from an institution that benefits from his business. I’m not talking fees, since we know how much he hates bank fees (as do I), but interchange fees from debit and credit card usage cost the user nothing, but the bank or CU gets a few cents every time you use your card.

    That being said, when a Wells Fargo customer uses a Wells Fargo ATM, the bank knows that the income from that customer justifies the cost to maintain the ATM. When a Well Fargo customer uses a Bank of America ATM, they are basically paying for the convenience since that person brings no income to BoA. Why would Bank of America eat the cost to maintain an ATM for someone who brings them no value? If not charged a fee, Girl ninja and other would continue to withdrawal from BoA ATMs leaving income-generating BoA members with empty ATMs and an increased cost to maintain/fill/service the machines.

    I understand banks do charge exorbitant fees, and I’m not defending it. I work at a credit union just for that reason. But, the whole “It’s my money” argument is really uninformed even if you do hate bank fees. Do you think it costs your bank nothing to maintain the Debit and Credit networks that enable you to use your card for California burritos? If you lost your card, wouldn’t they send you a new one (those personalized Debit cards cost from $1-$3 each, times that by several million customers). I don’t think you’ll be writing Wells Fargo a thank you note any time soon for housing your money, but, realizing that even if it is your money, the bank is housing, maintaining and distributing it right when you need it- a service that is valuable and deserves compensation.

    • Totally understand. The banks can charge whatever the heck they want. I’m pissed at Girl Ninja, not the bank.

  20. […] Debt continues his effort to single handily eliminate political correctness, or at least ignore it-ATM Fees are his […]

  21. These fees are only going to go up with the new consumer protection law. I have been getting my notices recently of all the new and increased fees from banks and credit cards. And actually $1.75 is quite low. I have usually seen $2-3 so avoid other ATMs like the plague.

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