Things I want to punch in the face: Shoppers

As I sit here typing this blog post, Girl Ninja is next to me surfing the interwebz. Each time I glance over, she is on a new website, couch shopping. In the last 15 minutes, she’s been on the Victoria’s Secret, American Eagle, and Nordstrom website. She needs to join Shopaholics anonymous.

I’m long overdue for a quasi-sexist post, so I might as well do one today. WHAT IS WITH YOU WOMEN AND YOUR CONSTANT NEED TO SHOP!? It’s insane. Maybe you, woman reader, don’t have a shopping addiction, but many of your female counterparts do. Don’t believe me? Go in to Target, Gap, Nordstrom, or just about any store for that matter and take a look at the products offered. About 80% of the Target clothing section is for women, 10% for kids, and 10% for men. Nordstrom has three floors dedicated to women, and half of one floor for dedicated to men. There is no denying that the shopaholics anonymous club is dominated by the X chromosome.

As a male, or at least as someone that hates shopping, I just don’t get it. If I need a new pair of jeans you wanna know what I do? I go to the mall, walk in to a store, and buy a pair of jeans. I’m in and out in 20 minutes. I don’t need to go in to every freakin’ store that sells jeans. And I sure as heck don’t walk out having bought a pair of jeans, three shirts, a fleece jacket, and a picture frame. When Girl Ninja tells me she is going shopping for a tank top, I know that is code for “I may or may not come back with half of Target in my backseat.”

The worst offenders of them all are window shoppers. I will never understand this rare breed of humans. They go to a mall, not to buy things, but to simply look at things. How depressing? You spend hours looking at cute clothes, that you probably want, but wont actually buy. That would be like going to a five star restaurant so you can look at the food, but not actually eat it. When’s the last time you did that? Probably never. You know why? CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAZY!

I will never, for the life of me, understand how Girl Ninja can spend so much time shopping, at the mall, online, and in magazines. Can someone please explain to me what is fun about shopping? Why is shopping primarily a female sport? Any dudes out there willing to admit they are part of shopaholics anonymous?


31 thoughts on “Things I want to punch in the face: Shoppers”

  1. Like you, I hate shopping and am pretty straight and too the point when I do it. I have a handful of stores whose quality I can count on and whose sizing I can predict, and I tend to shop them exclusively and briefly.

    HOWEVER. Like Girla Ninja, I do spend a considerable amount of time shopping online. Not BUYING shopping, but browsing shopping. The purpose is twofold: It enables me to check out trends and styling options, and also helps me make informed choices when I DO go in the store, because if I’ve already shopped online, I know exactly what they have and don’t have, which means I can spend even less time in the store.

  2. I’m sooo not a girl that way; I really don’t like shopping in any way, shape, or form. Even as a teenager, the thought of spending Saturday afternoon at the Mall was practically a form of punishment. I only shop for clothes when it’s absolutely necessary. My boss (who LOVES to shop) and I had this very discussion last week; she said “Don’t you love the feeling of putting on something new?” My answer was, “No, no I don’t, not in the least, couldn’t care less”. Like Alotta Lettuce, I have my few fave clothing and shoe stores, so when I HAVE to buy something new, those are my go-to places.

    The only shopping that doesn’t totally bore me to tears is grocery shopping (I enjoy cooking) and shopping for our home (but even then, it’s only when we REALLY need something). I’ll get my fix next year when we sell our condo and buy a townhouse… I’m sure I’ll have to shop for new furniture and/or appliances.

  3. My wife and I have a rule when we go shopping together. We go to a bar first, and I get drunk. It makes shopping more tolerable to me, and me more tolerable to the wife. I highly recommend this to others.

  4. I also hate shopping. I just get so frustrated when I am willing to fork over my time and my money to find something that’s right for me and I am unable to find anything that meets my requirements! My standards aren’t even that high, when it comes to clothes I just want something that fits well and isn’t hideous. So I avoid shopping until I’m desperate.

  5. I get frustrated with it, but I’m a price hunter by nature be it for clothing, household stuff, groceries, insurance, etc. It takes me a while to decide what I want and where it’s best to buy.

    Clothing is frustrating for me to buy. I’d love to walk into a store or go online and buy jeans or pants in a single click. Can’t though. Sizing for women is so screwed up between brands I have no idea what size to buy without trying it on.

    And because of that, I shop alone. I’ve never understood women that drag their husband or SO along to shop at the mall for clothing. That’s like a fight waiting to happen.

  6. Just like you have your interests women have their interests. It’s fun to shop because it’s fun to try out new clothing and shoes and bags. We get obsessed with looking cute! And I’m sure when GN shops, most of the time she is thinking of looking cute for you lol. I think GN is my new BFF…VS, AE and Nordstrom all in one swoop?

    I usually shop alone or with friends because when BF comes he makes it so unbearable as if he’s dying from waiting. So he doesn’t get to come anymore!

  7. Can girl ninja give some fashion advice? I need a dress to wear to a late summer wedding, about $100 budget… I’ve been looking at nodstrom for a month, but their online selection is soooo much cuter than what they actually have in store.

    Clearly, I enjoy shopping. Or rather, the results of shopping. I don’t like spending time in stores, but it must be done.

  8. I love window shopping. SOOOO GUILTY of wandering around the mall I work at for hours after my shift. I almost never buy anything. Why?? Because I don’t need anything. All I need right now is a new black buttondown collar shirt for work and I’m an XS and no stores have ANY at this time of year. Anyway, I window shop because I enjoy looking at new, pretty things. But I don’t necessarily NEED new, pretty things.

  9. I love to buy not to shop….

    my window shopping is all the daily deal sites – i do love them and they introduce us to new things. I do not buy every day despite what DN thinks…

    MY truly favorite shop is Amazon online lighting deals that savings are amazing and it comes to my door (2 day shipping free)- what’s not to love.

    And, DN I have been to Nordies Rack with you in the show department – that is your guilty pleasure.

    Go GN research away online and find what you truly want.

  10. I hate shopping. I am SO not a girl in that regard. But I can totally spend hours and hours doing other things. Just like how some guys spend hours playing video games, which I totally don’t understand, or how you, Ninja, probably spend hours and hours looking at your IRA balances. 🙂 It’s all relative, right?

  11. I use shopping as a tool to come down from a stressful day. There’s something about walking up and down the aisles and looking through the bright cheerful colors that is soothing. I usually have a list of things I’m looking for for the house or my wardrobe (that belt I can’t seem to find, or a rug for the bathroom done in arctic colors). That way I don’t buy anything that isn’t going to be used or unbudgeted for. If I’m unable to shop, I will do load after load of laundry (the rugs, the curtains, etc).

  12. I hate shopping too. Especially clothes shopping… UG! I had two shop-a-holic friends in highschool and they would drag me to the mall and stay there until I felt like I was going to die.

  13. I shop like a guy…i cannot stand to spend any more time than I absolutely have to shopping. I think it leads to impulse purchasing because rather than weigh the situation I will buy something just so I can leave.
    But maybe it’s totally a lady thing that I have to leave the store with SOMETHING?

  14. Guys like shopping too – just not for clothes. My husband is no longer allowed to go to Best Buy without me after an incident in which he went to pick up a video game as a birthday present for a friend and came home with $400 speakers for “us” (translation: him, since I still can’t hear the difference). He also regularly goes to Home Depot or Lowe’s for home improvement project projects he’s working on around the house and manages to come home with 3X what he said he was going for, because he saw something he needed for another project he’s working on. I think the difference between guys and girls isn’t so much that guys don’t like shopping, it’s that guys don’t like shopping for stuff that they can’t use.

  15. Although I despise shopping and do not find it fun or enjoyable in the least, I have to add a small defense to the female obsession. There are mainly two reasons to shop- needs and/or wants. The male has few needs (or wants) in general- you generally have two categories to maintain- tops and bottoms. There is not a huge need for you to be constantly updating your style/wardrobe. A man can look perfectly stylish in a polo shirt and nice jeans (still in style after 500 years)- men’s fashion rarely changes- another example would be a suit- classic- you only need one for life and you’re set- this one suit covers ALL of your outfits for fancy social events. Females on the other hand have a lot of categories to maintain (whether needs or wants)- not to mention the pressure of appearing up to date and trendy and the competition of other females- I don’t believe men compete…

    Females have to deal with shoes- dressy and casual- flats and heels, flip flops or sandals, wedges, pumps, tennis shoes,- comfortable or uncomfortable, bottoms- skirts, shorts, jeans, slacks, capris, dresses- long or short, dressy for an occasion or maybe a beach dress, etc…, tops- tank tops, long sleeve short sleeve, tights or loose, dressy non dressy, jackets, sweaters, coats, heavy sweaters, accessories- watches, necklace, belts, scarves, bracelets, rings, earrings- long or short or studs- hair- hairs, headbands, barrettes, bobby pins, and there would also be categories for summer and winter and work wardrobes. I think a man can wear a t shirt and jeans any time of the year and it works 🙂 .

    I will end with the observation that it takes a lot more work (shopping) for us females to look as good as we do and keep current. I think you should be, and probably are, proud that girl ninja (hot wife) doesn’t settle for a mundane and out of date wardrobe 🙂

  16. I have a few reasons why, though some may call them “excuses” 😉
    1) Constantly having to replace items. Women’s wardrobes are much more complex than men’s, especially if you work in an office setting. We often have clothes for work, clothes for home, clothes for outdoor activities, clothes for going out, and on and on and on! I try to buy things that do duty in numerous circumstances, but that’s difficult sometimes. Thus, I’m often in need of random things like “black belt that is work appropriate” or “summery dress to wear to wedding & also wear to work with cardigan” – these types of searches can lead us far & wide; it’s a tough life we live.

    2) Trends! Bastards who run the clothing industry got us good, and we’re victims to needing to join in on trends. Thankfully we have lots of cheap options like Forever 21 to help us get deals on trendy pieces.

    3) If we look constantly, we can take advantage of sales and find pieces that we’ve been waiting on. All black tank tops are not equal!

    I am probably a lot like GN in that I pretty much am constantly on the prowl for things. I even have a list of “pre-approved purchases” on my iPhone that I refer to while I’m shopping, to at least help stop me from coming home with 10 things when I went out to buy 1. It works, for the most part. 😛

  17. Ad Banner at top for “Sexiest Clothing Online” while reading this post is hilarious!

    Otherwise, cheers! You’re dead on. Malls are the graveyard of personal finance.

  18. i’m another woman that dislikes shopping…ESPECIALLY window shopping. i just don’t see the point in looking at stuff you know you’re not going to get anyway. BUT…when those once a year, 40% off site-wide online sales crop up on Gap/Banana/American Eagle/etc, I am all over that sh*t!!!

  19. Ha, I like Jason’s comment earlier about how malls are graveyards for personal finance. Same goes for online shopping too! It really is amazing to see how much effort some folks go through just to ‘window shop’ including traveling to downtown and competing with crowds for parking spaces along the streets. Don’t even get me started with bargain shoppers on the day after Thanksgiving…

  20. Target Syndrome is very serious. It afflicts the female population at all ages- walk into any Target store to buy shampoo, BLACK OUT, wake up outside $200 poorer with a bag of shoes and jeans. It’s not funny.

  21. Many women see shopping as a recreational sport. My wife and her sister are olympic shoppers, although they only buy on sale and use gift certificates for it. I am not complaining. When they return home, they brag about the bargains! I waiting for the day when the store pays them to take it.

  22. Can’t believe no one has mentioned this: haven’t you heard the theory that women love to shop because of our ancestry? Apparently, shopping is a form of gathering. Women browse, compare, buy a few little trinkets here and there….you go into the store, buy your jeans, and come right back out because you’re a hunter. You “hunted” your jeans and made your kill. Why browse? Why window shop? Meanwhile, Girl Ninja is gathering berries in VS and AE….Economists also say that this is why women tend to get into debt because of little purchases here and there (nuts and twigs), while men tend to get into debt because of a few big purchases (lions and tigers).

    Whether it’s true or not, women also view shopping as a social occasion, whereas men have sporting events. Venus and Mars, that’s all I can say…..

  23. There is a lot more pressure on women to look good, be thin, keep up with trends.

    Would you have even looked twice at GN the first time you met her if her wardrobe looked like it came straight out of the early 90’s? Probably not.

    Whereas you are probably wearing a t-shirt and jeans right now. And that’s probably what you were wearing in the early 90’s too.

  24. Pretty sure it’s instinctual…We’re gatherers and have diffuse awareness (which requires shopping around, sharing our finds with other females, getting those sale emails, coupons etc) and men are hunters with FOCUS! As a general rule, men shop on a mission, for something specific, and will spend all their resources if necessary to get what they need.

    So let those instincts play out! It’s healthy as long as it doesn’t turn into a buying addiction or the inability to take care of your needs.

    I am THRILLED that Girl Ninja has joined the blogging rank and I think your readership will skyrocket. Also, Girl Ninja, I’m a Personal Stylist who loves sales. Can we be friends? Ninja, I promise I will encourage her to shop better and wiser, not spend more. 😉

  25. Your insistence that all women are exactly like your wife is exhausting. It’s a logical fallacy and it makes you sound stupid. I know you’re not stupid. Please stop.

Comments are closed.