Okay kiddos. At the request one of my loyal Canadian readers, it’s time I go on another rant. This time we mean serious business. Do you remember my post about how much I hate cats? Well, if you multiplied my disdain for fury felines by eleventy-billion, that would be how much I hate black licorice.
Seriously, is there anyone in the world that likes this stuff? Every now and again, I feel a little risky and take my taste buds on a little adventure. Recently, this involved accepting the challenge of a friend to eat black licorice. I knew I didn’t like the stuff, but I hadn’t tried it in years. “Maybe my taste buds have matured?” I thought to myself. I use to hate broccoli, but now I love it, so perhaps black licorice would be similar?
Even if by some freak chance you enjoy the taste of black licorice, what the heck makes you think other people are going to? If I liked to drink my own urine you wouldn’t want me to offer you a glass, would you? No? Didn’t think so. Keep your licorice to yourself.
I can’t believe these disgusting sticks of distgustingness have infiltrated the candy aisle. They have no right sitting next to such delicious treats as Reese’s Pieces and the oh-so-famous Snickers bar.
You can’t put a bunch of maggot feces in a bag, label it Maggot-O’s, and stick it in the candy aisle can you? Why is black licorice not required to meet the same level of tasty deliciousness that all other candies must? It’s a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy!
Man, I’m in a bad mood now. Haha, never knew my hate for something could be so strong. Other food items that make me want to projectile vomit all over myself are; warm pineapple (whoever decided to start putting this amazing fruit on pizza should be shot), bacon (seriously the grossest looking food I’ve ever seen, ever), and olives (oh gosh, don’t get me started on olives).
Do you like black licorice? What foods do you absolutely hate with a passion?
p.s. Girl Ninja likes black licorice. Grounds for separation?