So I’ve officially been a resident of Hotel Mom&Dad for two weeks now. It’s weird. Like real weird. I moved to San Diego two weeks after my 18th birthday and didn’t think I would ever move back in, especially not after getting married! My parents are off to New York and the Bahamas to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, so this is probably the only chance I’ll have to rant about living with them.
Living with parents: Bedroom
The first thing that’s less than ideal is the fact that I’m living in the guest bedroom. It’s decorated with antique furniture and screams “I was meant for someone over the age of 83.” Needless to say, it’s not my style. What’s more, I’m sleeping on a twin mattress. Girl Ninja and I lived the luxurious life in San Diego and rocked a Full (insert sarcasm here). Actually, now that I think about it, I probably have more space in my twin, than I did with Girl Ninja in our full, she’s been known to hog the bed…
Living with parents: Animals
My parents have three dogs, if you want to meet them you can do so here. I don’t mind Gizmo (the black pug) and Bella (the boxer). They both have short coarse hair. Sure, they shed a little, but it’s not devastating and can easily be cleaned up with a lint roller. Gadget (the fawn pug), however, is one hairball away from being sent to doggy heaven. I have no clue how such a tiny dog can shed so freakin’ much, it’s mind boggling really. Unfortunately, my parents love their three dogs waaaaaay more than they love me. As much as I can’t stand the dog hair, I’m gonna have to suck it up and get use to it.
Living with parents: Not my place
My least favorite thing about living with my parents is simply the fact that I’m living with my parents. It’s not my home, it’s theirs. I am a guest. There is something liberating about living on your own. You can decorate how you want, you can walk around in your underwear all day (it would get real awkward if I tried doing that here), and you don’t have to abide by anyone elses rules but your own. Plus, it’s kind of embarrassing being 25, married, financially stable, but still having to do chores (this week it’s mow the lawn and do the dishes). I feel like Will Farrel in The Wedding Crashers.
Is living with my parents weird? Sure, but it’s no fault of their own. I mean, it would be pretty rude of me to expect them to redecorate, sell their dogs, and let me walk around half naked, just so I feel at “home”. It’s a temporary gig, living here is saving GN and I $1,200/month in rent, and the best thing is I actually like my parents. They are super fun and all around good people.I’d much rather live with them than live by myself for 2.5 months.
When’s the last time you lived with your parents? Would you EVER move back in with them, even if for a short time? What’s your favorite thing about having your own place?
p.s. If you want see what my (and Girl Ninja’s) first place looked like, you can take the tour here.
p.p.s. Happy 30th Anniversary Mom and Dad!
Ninja! Just stumbled across your blog and I like what I see so far. I’m a few years older than you, but was quite like you in my mid 20s (except I was not and still am not married.)
I moved back home 3 years after the girl I was dating at the time and I broke up. First, I was not a big fan or living together to begin with. I was happy living alone and saving to buy a house, but I knew the only way there would be a future with us is if we did live together.
After the break up my parents welcomed me back and told me that I should have stayed there all along after college, which was about 5 years prior. I agreed but had to learn on my own.
I already had a decent down payment saved up and within 6 months I had the elusive 20% saved and some money for repairs and furniture.
My situation was unique, my parents and I get along very well and they were used to my antics with staying out late or not coming home at all.
To answer your question, it is not weird at all because you have a goal and are not there to freeload. If anything, people should go the route you and I did, there would probably be a lot less house poor people or debt in the world.
The favorite part about owning my own place would easily be that it is mine. Every year I pick a major and a minor project for my house. Right now the major project is a new patio.
I moved out and on my own at 20, Mom moved to Florida a year after than, and came back to Canada less than a year later; Mom, my sister and I decided to pool our money to rent a townhouse. It worked out well, ’til Mom met my future Step-Dad and moved back to her birthplace (Montréal) about 8 months after we all moved in together. So my sister and I wouldn’t have to look for new digs, my Dad offered to move in with us and take over my Mom’s share of the rent and bills. After 2 years of living with Dad and my sister, I moved out, and never looked back. I don’t think I could ever live with either parent again; we’re all too set in our ways.
When Hubby and I got married, his parents said we could live with them, in their basement (with full kitchen and bathroom) rent free; we said no thank you for the simple reason that it wasn’t my house. Kind frankly, we were happy to pay a mortgage if it ensured our privacy, but it took a few years for his parents to understand our decision. Oh, and Hubby’s family never owed pets; I wasn’t giving up our 2 cats… a house is not a home unless there is fur in it 😉
I am still living with my parents and I’m 25. If I ever moved out, I probably will never move back in, which is why I want to save up as much as possible. In my set up, I have my own part of the house, so I can do whatever I want (within reason). Somehow walking around boxers isn’t high up on that list. What I would like is some peace and quiet for my nerd activities (re: hw and reading) but my parents are convinced that if they don’t shout through the phone, the other person just won’t hear them. And they love to comment about everything on TV. But aside from all that, the best part about the living situation is the bundle of joy Sonny (who was a gift for my father, but he, Sonny, loves me more!). I’ve already arranged with the parents that when I leave, I’m taking him. He is too friggin cute!
Well first off, your apartment that you referenced is SWEET. Very nicely decorated, I’m gonna assume that was the Wife 😉 I don’t think I could ever move back in with my parents. Aside from the fact they have 2 cats and 2 kids they recently adopted (i.e. no room for me and/or my wife), I’m just not sure I could do it. What’s funny is that THEY don’t want me back any more than I do! Getting closer to graduation from college a couple years ago, they said, “if you need to stay here a couple of weeks before you find a job, that’s no problem.” We all awkwardly chuckled at the “couple of weeks” comment, but luckily I didn’t have to take them up on it. But it’s a necessity for you guys, and that’s great! I’m glad you are able to save some serious money and help your parents out around the house. Love it!
Austin
I’m a little over a month from 21, I still live at home with my mom but I can’t wait to get out. Not because living at home sucks but because I want to feel responsible. Living at home feels like leeching to me. I don’t have much responsibility and it kinda sucks having to show your future wife your bedroom in your parents house instead of your own house.
Once I get out I ain’t ever looking back unless some form of emergency happens and I can not do any better. Needless to say I think the best part about living in your own house is that it is your own house. Same reason you would want your own unicorn.
I moved out when I was 18 and would NEVER go back. I rather live in a motel. Luckily, I have friends and in-laws that would take me in if ever necessary. 🙂
I live with my mom now. I moved back home about 3 years ago and it’s been working out pretty great. We’ve settled into a good system and obviously helps my finances. There are some things that drive me crazy, but not crazy enough for me to move out. That said, I do look forward to having my own place in the not so distant future. Just have to graduate and see where I’m going next!
Kudos to you for doing this. I don’t think I could ever move back home unless there were extreme circumstances. My parents and I have gotten along much better since I moved out. I guess some people are better when at a distance.
I am sure your dying to decorate your room, because you’re such an amazing decorator. Party while your parents are out of town!!!!
What is with all you young people living with your parents? My children are grown and each of them stayed with us after they graduated from college for a short time. Moving out is part of growing up.
Ouch.
I’m 25 and still living with parents. I want to save as much as I can, because I don’t really want to pay rent so I’m gonna buy a house. Expensive? Yes, but definitely worth it. I already find a nice place 😛
I am 28, and that is a big NO. However…it is nice to know that there is a backup plan, but my entire teenage and adult life has been centered around establishing my own backup plan so that I can stay completely independent from them.
Good luck!
I lived with my parents for 3 years after I graduated college, and have been on my own for about 3 years. No, I wouldn’t do it again except for a brief stay of a week or two, unless I had a dependent and no other options. I love my parents, but my mom and I get along better if we don’t have to see each other every day.
I just recently moved out, and would move back in because I like my family (my dad is amazing and hilarious), even though my brother is annoying as frig. Plus my (our) dogs live there and I love them too much to never see them.
And I actually stay at my parent’s place on the weekends (I work Friday nights and open Saturday mornings, so it saves me an hour drive overall if I crash there) and even though I have to sleep on my Grandpa’s chair (at least it reclines ALL the way back!). So yes I would definitely move back in if I had to save the money. As long as I had my own room and not sleeping on a chair, but currently all the rooms are taken as my Grandpa moved in when I moved out.
However that would be the last option. I’d check friends places and around the city and if I legitimately couldn’t find anything THEN I would move back home.
Let’s just say, never say never! I left home at 18 (read, my parents were firm believers of the ‘our job is done when you are 18’ scholl of thought, and we were told it was time to get out – oh, and get a university degree, but I digress…). 30 years later, after my marriage collapsed, my finances tanked,I left my high paying job,I moved across the country, and my commonsense went into hiding, I ended up back with my mother for a few months while I tried to get back on my feet. I stayed with her for 5 months which was about 4.5 months too many! In my late 40’s, having lived many places and experienced things my mother couldn’t understand, it was trying. I very much appreciated it, and contributed to the household: I bought the groceries,paid rent (albeit minimal), ran the errands, did the yard work,did the housework so I wasn’t a ‘mooch’. All this while I also found a job, and a house…I was thankful I had this opportunity for a ‘breather’ to gain some perspective, and start on the path to recovery, but I would never have imagined it happening.
To all you ‘youngsters’…life will absolutely through you curveballs – completely unimaginable events. Do everything you can to prepare.
I wonder if more guys or girls live at home with their parents as grown adults?
I was based out of my parents’ house throughout college (like most, returning during winter and summer). I lived there for about 3 months after graduating while I settled into my job and found a place near work. I was driven to move out for responsibility, individuality, and the commute. I do have to say the commute alone was motivation enough, at 45 mins to 2 hours each way depending on traffic.
I do know that I will always be welcome to stay with parents, and they made as much clear when I was worried about layoffs and have acted as a pass-through station for two of my uncles and three of my four siblings at varying points, two of them well after college. Point being – my parents rock at being supportive, and the personalities in my family make it so it’s not enabling but genuinely helping.
Sometimes I do wonder what I would/could have done with the almost $35k I’ve spent in rent (not including utilities or cable) over the last 3 years. Then I immediately poo-poo that thought because it just wasn’t an option as far as I’m concerned.
I have to agree with krantscents on this one–the people who are in their mid- to late 20s who have never moved out are doing themselves a disservice (and more than likely their parents, too). Your parents are not there to support you as an adult while you save up for a house. I moved out at 18 out of a sense of responsibility and also not wanting to burden my parents financially anymore. I wanted to pay my own bills and live my own life. You should too, I think. Some things (independence, responsibility, growing up) you just can’t put a price on. And I’ll say that when I was single, I really questioned a grown man living at home (unless, of course, it was temporary due to a layoff or the like)–the ones who’d never moved out. Was he a mama’s boy? Was he still looking for dad’s approval? Ugh. When my mom met my dad in the early 70s he was still living at home at 29…and she said he needed to be a man and get his own place or else she would not date him! Lucky for them and me and my brother, he did just that. 🙂
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We moved in with the in-laws so they can help with our kids, because our jobs has logistic challenges. It is still weird after 4 years. up side is the you get some help and you save money. downside is they’ll give you their opinions. We bought the hose from them, but not sure if we can redecorate.
I moved back into my parents’ house from lack of steady income. The house gets crowded sometimes with my parents and my daughter who’ll be in preschool next year on busy mornings and evenings. All in all, be grateful for having a supportive and patient family who will lend you a roof over your head. There are many friends and colleagues who don’t have that option. I hear ya on it being weird and owning the temporary title as a guest in their house until getting back on feet and saving money.
not for a million dollars and not for a million years would I move back with my mom… (the details of why can be found in my about me section of my blog— essentially I can from a BAD home environment)
I love how my condo is mine. It’s my safe haven. It mirrors my personality and my style and its the first place i’ve lived that’s felt like home. Even when I lived in an apartment with some friends, I always had things still in boxes in my closet and this is the first time ever that everything has a home.
It stays clean if I clean it, I can walk around in pj’s all the time if I want… and I can even eat cereal for dinner and no one is the wiser… and I don’t have a roommate…
Once you get that taste of freedom it’s difficult to go back. I just shake my head and laugh at all of the times that I had to bring girls back and sneak them into the basement. I think that once you start making money your parents deserve the peace and you should leave them alone.