Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Let’s face it. We are all liars. We sometimes say things we don’t mean for the sake of saving face. I was always told honesty is the best policy, but I’m afraid that simply isn’t true. Sometimes ya gotta lie. And here are a few situations where I have..


Am I the only person in the world that thinks 95% of newborns are gross looking? I mean a squished head, splotchy skin, awkward hair, and random fat deposits don’t come to mind when I think of the word “cute”. But for some reason, we are forced to pretend like our friends babies are. Don’t get me wrong. I have a friend (who reads this blog) whose daughter is legitimately a beautiful baby, but I also have a friend (who doesn’t read this blog) whose child is….how should I put this nicely…weird looking. Would I ever tell them that? Heck no. I may think “Good lord what is that thing”, but out my mouth comes “Ah, she’s so precious.”

People that make dumb choices:

This is a tough one to communicate without sounding like a judgmental jerk face, but I’m gonna do my best. I’m talking about the person that just bought a new car, but two weeks earlier was complaining about how broke they were. Or the person that has $100K in undergrad loans, but decides to get a masters in some random field, only because they don’t want to work, not because they actually want to use their graduate education. These people frustrate me, but I am rarely in a position where I can call them out on their stupidity. This old blog post is a perfect example of how I felt obligated to pretend I was excited for a friend that bought a new car, when really I thought she was crazy!

Job Interviews:

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I walk in to an interview and just make up random skills and life experiences, but I’m not saying I don’t 😉 Seriously though, a job interview is your one chance to sell yourself to your future employer. Is a little withholding of the truth so bad? What about embellishing a tad to make yourself look better than you actually are? Don’t act like you haven’t done it before. I guarantee you have. Take for example the infamous interview question “What’s your biggest weakness?” Did you really tell them it’s that you are quasi-lazy and surf the internet and read PF blogs during the day (kinda like what YOU are doing right now). Or did you make up some mumbo jumbo saying, “Well, my biggest weakness is that I work really hard and sometimes this affects my personal life.” Yeah, your clever response isn’t fooling anyone.

I’m hoping some of you will humble yourselves and share a few areas of your life where you feel like telling a fib every now and again is actually the RIGHT thing to do. Under what circumstances do you lie?

19 thoughts on “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

  1. I think everyone tells a little white lie occasionally, usually to protect someone else’s feelings. The line between innocent and hurtful lies is a thin one though. However, I think saying that an “uggo” baby is beautiful definitely falls into the innocent category!

  2. I must be kind and supportive in my health care job and so I have to lie sometimes. I have to listen to endless type 2 diabetics tell me that they don’t know why their blood sugar readings are so high when I know they have made no lifestyle choices to help themselves. If they can’t loose weight and exercise they are headed to being insulin users and they don’t want that but won’t get off their big butts and do something about it.

    Another baby in my hospital room when I had my first child was very hairy in unusual places. He had black hair all over his ears, some on his hands and feet and on his little baby bottom. The doctor told the mom it was normal and would disappear within a week or 2. It was very funny to watch her friends and relatives look at the baby for the first time and try to hide their shocked looks.

    • I have a hairy baby on my Facebook feed right now, she happens to be a baby girl big ol’ bow and all. I liked the picture and said she was beautiful (she is beautiful, but hairy).

      It’s shocking when they have the extra hair I know it falls off but it’s a little freaky too.

      And since I posted this I’m pretty sure the karma train is going to hit me and I will have a hairy baby.

  3. I think we all tell those little white lies in those personal situation where we want to spare someones feelings. I enjoy catching people in them. I have a co-work who always tells me he needs to make more money because he can’t pays his bills, then on Monday’s he tell everyone how much money he won/lost on betting on football. Really?

  4. I dislike the “should” people. You know, the people who offer you unsolicited advice about stuff they don’t know about. Instead of telling them the truth, I say:

    Unsolicited adviser: Wow you got a raise. You should buy a bigger TV.
    What I mean: Why you idiot? I have a perfectly good TV that by the way, I don’t even use except for an occasional DVD from the library.
    My standard catchphrase/LIE: That’s interesting. I will have to look into it.

    It’s just easier.

  5. When my love swears that she is made of truth,
    I do believe her though I know she lies,
    That she might think me some untutored youth,
    Unlearned in the world’s false subtleties.
    Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,
    Although she knows my days are past the best,
    Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue:
    On both sides thus is simple truth suppressed:

    But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
    And wherefore say not I that I am old?
    O! love’s best habit is in seeming trust,
    And age in love, loves not to have years told:
    Therefore I lie with her, and she with me,
    And in our faults by lies we flattered be.

    – Shakespeare, Sonnet 138

  6. We’re all guilty of a little embellishment or white lies every now and then, but my sister takes it to the extreme. When I call her out on something, she gets super-defensive, probably because she can’t remember what embellishment/lie she’s told to whom.

    On the subject of people making dumb choices, sis is talking about getting another rescue dog (she got one almost 3 years ago; lovely dog, but he’s HUGE, way too big for her little house). I said, “Are you sure you can afford another dog?” She gave a snarky “YEAH” response, also saying “it’s the stray cats I can’t afford to feed”. My reply was that we both knew she wasn’t going to stop feeding the strays, so what makes her think she can afford another dog? She was not happy with me, lemme tell ya!! She’s also the same person that told me on Aug. 16 she was broke when we’d been paid Aug. 15.

  7. I try not to lie…but I’m all about withholding information, comments, etc. I mean, if you dont have something nice and/or substantive to say, don’t say it!

    I’ll just say, I’ve seen my fair share of weird looking babies… and I refuse to tell someone their baby is cute if its not. You can always comment on how chubby their cheeks are, or how (insert eye color) theirs eyes are. It works everytime, lol!

    • Exactly this! I coo over “ooh the tiny fingernails!” or “lookit the tiny tiny toes” – all without mentioning the weird squished up face 🙂

    • I do the same thing when it comes to the cooing over a “only-cute-in-the-parents-eyes'” baby. Learned that skill when my good friend had her son about 25 years ago; she kept going on about how gorgeous he was… the only thing that kept coming into my mind was, “Wow, he looks like Yoda”

  8. The majority of newborns are weird looking. My favorite is when everyone is like “oh my god, she looks just like her mommy!” No, she doesn’t look like anyone. She’s a red squishy blob that looks like every other creepy looking newborn ever. Whew, that felt good to type!

  9. I do it but it always seems to come off weird. Like when a coworker asked me how I liked her new engagement ring and I exclaimed “wow it’s…shiny!” When what I wanted to say was it was stupid because I knew they were struggling just to pay their bills and the relationship was rocky.

    But worse are the little white lies I catch me telling myself. These are the ones that sabotage my own goals. You know, things like “I think the dryer shrunk these jeans” instead of admitting I need to put more effort into my goal of getting to my goal weight. I’ve caught myself more times than I’ll admit.
    It comes off weird and phony when I do it to others but somehow I can pull it off when it’s just me 😉

  10. Telling the truth will surely hurt some feelings and certain people cannot handle it anyway, so we need to sugarcoat it and sometimes even lie.
    PS: I also think many babies are not looking great at birth, which is actually pretty easy to understand. But you cannot tell a new mom about it, after all she’s been through 🙂

  11. haha- definitely guilty of the interview non-answer. but what do they really expect from that question?!

    sometimes i lie about my plans to get out of lunch/dinner/movies/bar hopping with friends. if i really don’t want to go, i’ll tell a little white lie that i’m busy doing something or other to get out of it. i feel like that’s better than telling them you don’t want to hang out!

  12. I’m so glad that someone else thinks newborns are ugly. I don’t like them much at all. Sometime around 3 -4 months they become cute, but before that, they are all curled up and floppy. I even thought that about my own baby. He was sorta cute, but you know, a new born. Then he got a rash and it rubbed a lot of his hair off and he looked like a balding accountant. I think people are either into newborns or they’re not. Give me a smiling 6 month old any day.

    Obviously I wasn’t one of those mum’s who when handed the baby fell crashingly in love. (What I thought was as I was handed this slimy baby, “oh great, now my top is messy as well”) I love him more as he gets older, as there is more to love. He is more interesting and does more stuff. By the time he moves out I should be besotted. Now that is something you have to lie about: no one will believe you if you are a bit ambivielent about motherhood, and don’t necessarily think it is the best thing in the world. That not having children is okay too. That you can have an interesting life without children. But don’t tell anyone, as most people don’t want to know, so you tell a few white lies.

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