Things I want to punch in the face: Apple Fankids

Today’s guest post comes from, Maria Rainier. She is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at First in Education, where recently she’s been researching different music degree programs and blogging about student life. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

See? I tried to be P.C. (no pun intended) by saying “fankids” instead of “fanboys,” since not all Mac users are male, nor are they female—there’s such a sex as intersex, too. See, I am progressive, but I still want to punch Mac lovers in the face.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate a nice Mac, even if I do have a vendetta against a certain $1499 iMac that’s sitting in a corner of the press office at my alma mater, probably losing data, not transferring files, and shutting down without provocation, or alternatively not shutting down at all until I rip the cord out of the wall, but I don’t want to do that because Steve Jobs might jump out of the spinning ball of death and spit on me and then make my Mac never turn on again—but wait, it won’t turn on again, anyway, and the stupid LED light is still on and it’s a terrible, terrible liar because it’s telling me with its blinding light that the computer is on and functioning (Ninja’s comments: Holy guacamole, that has to be the longest run-on sentence EVER!). Why would you lie to me, Mac? I wouldn’t lie to you. I told you from the very beginning that it wasn’t meant to be.

This is why I have a PC. Not that I’m in denial that PCs don’t work where Macs do. My PC shuts down when it gets too hot, gets infected even when I don’t click on ads or risqué sites, and slows down whenever I try running Photoshop with iTunes or really iTunes with anything else, and its screen isn’t as pretty as the Mac screens of the hipster-type emo kids who are still on their parents’ dime and complain about how Japan won’t stop killing dolphins while they eat a tuna sandwich and click/type away at roadside cafes—outdoors, of course, otherwise nobody would see them being hipster and emo and Mack-ie (Ninja’s comments: Second longest run-on sentence ever?).

And then these kids try to tell you that Macs are awesome. Their arguments usually consist of the following:

1. They never crash, freeze, or get slimy viruses.
2. They look cooler (duh).
3. They’re innovative and so am I, because I like indie music and click “Causes” on Facebook every day and walk around in skinny jeans with my hands in my pockets even though there’s decidedly no room left in said skinny jeans for hands or any other appendages (burn).

They mention nothing of operating speed, hardware or software options (or lack, thereof), or Steve Jobs’ stint at NeXT and open-source Linux. When you mention any of these things, their eyes glaze over and all they can do is show you their awesome music collection on iTunes and say PCs are for fundamentalists who don’t want to change their ways and try yoga and only care about Wall Street and don’t care about the little guy. Because Steve Jobs isn’t a millionaire or anything.

Mac fankids don’t understand that Apple is basically trying to rebuild the wheel that Microsoft made like twenty years ago. They consider right-click and the ergonomic mouse “innovation” when everyone knows that right-click has been around LITERALLY for decades, and anyone who’s tried one of those ergonomic things knows that Apple owes them several hundred dollars in chiropractic fees. Righteously flouting mainstream industry trends like the HDMI port (which for Macs are a novelty) and pursuing a completely non-intuitive Dock that doesn’t actually close any programs or allow you to drag files to new destinations without having both source and destination files open, I suppose, appeals to scene kids and wannabe nerds who want to write for CNET while editing together their indie-but-still-blockbuster psychological thriller film.

They are unable to back up their three-point argument (see above) with anything factual and cannot refute my opinion that a Mac is like a good date gone bad: the guy (or girl, or intersex, whatever) looks great, dresses nice, has beautiful eyes, has a great laugh, and then he/she/it disappears into the bathroom for twenty minutes and loses his/her/its utensils and very conveniently his/her/its wallet after spilling the soup all over me.

My point is this: I don’t care if you like Macs or PCs as long as you can back up your opinion. Macs and PCs work different ways with basically the same OS and therefore appeal to different users with different needs. That’s fine.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong? Maybe I just want to punch scene kids in the face?

Ninja’s comments: Maria’s treading on thin ice here, considering both Girl Ninja and I have Macbooks, I have the iPhone, and we both have like 87 iPods between the two of us. I am probably an Apple Fanboy for life. But, I’ll be honest. I don’t really know much about the technical stuff Maria wrote about. Macs probably are more limited in what they can do, when compared to a P.C., but that’s exactly why I like them: They are simple! So what’s it gonna be debt punchers: Mac, PC, or Indifferent????

46 thoughts on “Things I want to punch in the face: Apple Fankids”

  1. Am I missing something? What technical stuff was there in that rant to not get? That sounded to me like just as much of a silly immature and unfounded argument against macs as the “hipster three-point argument” for them. As a design professional macs are the industry standard because of their superior color, efficiency, elegance, fewer crashes and no support needed. I totally get hating on the annoying hipster kids who just care about the look but lets not misdirect that frustration when Apple is the most technologically groundbreaking company around.

    • I’m with leahjuly on this one. This is a silly, immature and unfounded argument against Macs.

      I use a PC at work, and it only makes me appreciate my Mac more. I’ve owned Macs for over a decade. In that time I’ve never had a virus infection, blue screen of death, or had to deal with a buggy and crash-prone OS that was of poor design – based on a bad design. The same cannot be said for my work PCs.

      I will give up many things before I will stop being a Mac person.

  2. hmmm….I’ve always used PC not Apple based systems, never actually had the chance to try the other. And now, given that my PC laptop was 1/2 price of the Mac…..I’m not switching. Is one better than the other? Who knows…I’ve heard arguements for both.

    My complaint is on the iCrap out there…..if you get an iPod/iThing (my kid was given an iPod Touch by an uncle), you’re stuck with iTunes….and everything must be iCrap compatible. My “old school” MP3 player is much more compatible — it’s like Apple is trying to limit everyone to using their system, so we must all buy through iTunes, limiting the choices we have. I realize just about everything is available through iTunes…’s just that by buying iCrap you are forced to buy a certain way, not use our freedom of choice. (end of my pathetic rant)

    • You can use your freedom of choice. You freedom of choice was buying the “iCrap”. Also, if you people really hate iTunes so much, do one of those fancy google searches all the kids are talking about these days. You can find plenty of free, open source alternatives to iTunes. You can even sync your iPod you hate so much with them! – There ya go!

  3. We have PCs and Macs (desktop and laptops) in our house, plus the usual assortment of i-things. I have tried to like the Macs but I agree with this post 100%. For the work that I do, there is nothing that a Mac can do that a Windows 7 machine can’t do as well, at 1/2 the cost and without trying to lock you into the proprietary world of iTunes.

  4. I think alot of it is preference. I work on a PC all day, and can’t wait to work on my Mac when I get home….I just like the OS better, and everything is so functional. I grew up on PCs and got a Mac in college because I was just fed up with my computer crashing. I’m now on my 3rd MacBook and I’m never going back. Currently saving for a new one with a goal on Smarty Pig, thanks to Debt Ninja’s advice to save and purchase things instead of financing them-

    But, you’re right, Mac or PC, I think we’d all like to punch Apple fankids in the face.

  5. This entire post is laughable. When we get to the core of it, Maria hates hipsters and who doesn’t? You seem to forget there are people who prefer Mac machines due to their careers. I’m a video editor, therefore I use a Mac. Final Cut Pro is a standard in my field and it’s what I am comfortable with. Also, you said you were running iTunes, so I’m going to assume you have an iPod and/or iPhone. Ba-zing.

    When it comes down to it, you are just adding and continuing this stupid Mac Vs. PC war. Here is a pro-tip, just use what you like and be happy about it. When you see a scene kid who is only using a Mac because it’s trendy, laugh to yourself and move on.

    • Jason, I am a web designer. The “standard” web designer uses a Mac. It’s cool, it makes you smarter, I don’t know. I’ve been designing for 9 years with normal PCs. And weird thing is I survived 😀

    • “I grew up on PCs and got a Mac in college because I was just fed up with my computer crashing. I’m now on my 3rd MacBook and I’m never going back.”

      “Just use what you like and be happy about it. When you see a scene kid who is only using a Mac because it’s trendy, laugh to yourself and move on.”

      Amen to both.

  6. My boyfriend does music stuff, and so he uses a Mac because it runs the special recording software that he needs. His love of macs might go a bit beyond his actually need for using a Mac, so I tease him about how he spent $2,000 on a laptop that 2 years later only gets 1 hour of battery life unplugged, the webcam stopped working after about 15 months, and that fixing any of these things costs about 3 times as much as it would cost me to get them fixed. I have no need for a mac. I have the PC equivalent of a 13″ macbook air: with a hard drive twice as big, a battery that lasts twice as long, and it cost $1000 less. Apple might be the trailblazer, but I am completely happy to wait a year to get the cheaper and yet better version of Mac’s inventions.

  7. I’m indifferent. My PC laptop keeps me happy, but I also enjoyed my Apple desktop. I love my ipod and find itunes to be simple and easy (I’m technologically challenged), so it’s a great mp3 for my needs. I don’t have any special fancy things I do on the computer, so I don’t worry about which OS is better, I am just concerned about the thing turning on and getting me my daily Ninja fix. I think Apple’s are nicer looking, but to me, that’s not worth the extra grand they cost.

  8. If you like Macs and have the money, then buy a Mac.

    I use PC because you can get the same technical specs for at least half the cost, and I don’t like the closed nature of Apple products that don’t integrate with anything else. For example, iTunes music that can only be played on Apple products.

    I do HD video editing and other graphics intensive stuff, and I do it on a $550 PC with a $50 graphics card upgrade. It’d cost me at least $1,200 and probably more to get a Mac that can do what I want it to do.

    The one Apple product that is not overpriced? Apple TV for $99.

  9. I have a big issue with Apple: the price. A “laptop” that would do the same stuff as my 17.3″, 4GB DDRAM “tractor” of an HP laptop would cost me almost 4 times more. The HP was 560 bucks, a similar macpro would be over 2000. Come on, let’s be serious.

    The pad is cute and still hugely overpriced. I’d pay 150-200 bucks. Until it reaches this superb price, I’ll stick to not owning one. I actually have a small laptop too, that cost me half the price and runs ALL MY SOFTWARE. So, if I am in a journey and I need to edit a layout, I just open the dang thing and work it. 😀

  10. Sorry but this post was horrible. It was a rant and obviously from someone who likes PCs over MACs. This isn’t Engadget or Gizmodo here… I’m not going to go there with my comment.

    I love my Macbook and ipods but I have an Android phone and use a PC at work. They both have their pros and cons, end of story. It’s just a matter of personal preference on what people like/want. This war on MACs vs. PCs is really old, get over it.

    And I thought it was pretty rude to label fankids stereotypically in this post. Not a fan!


    I hate apple and all their products also.

    1) Overpriced – You can get double the speed for half the price for computers. iPhone lovers – . iPod lovers tell me why I can’t just freaking drag and drop files? I run 4 websites and for some reason I can’t figure out iTunes and have erased 5 iPods trying to share music (legally) between them.

    2) The customer service aspect is simply bullshit. Maybe I know people with real problems but anyone that has brought their computer/iphone/ipod into the apple store to the “genius bar” simply had to wait until they said to them either we had take out the battery and restart it OR I have to send it out

    3) Closed systems. If I bought that 99 cent song on iTunes…it is MINE if I want to put it on my second ipod or anywhere else I shouldn’t have to run a google search to figure out how to do it!

    I get it, Apple, you have cool commercials….but that is it!

    • Number 1 and 3 are pretty much the same thing. Stop blaming iTunes for DRM music. Amazon does the same thing.

      Number 2, really? Unless you personally had a bad experience, don’t speak on the subject. Apple has been extremely nice to me, even to the point of replacing an iPhone completely for free. Seriously, why are you so up in arms about this? I don’t get people who hate Windows so much or hate Macs so much. Who really gives a damn?

  12. I find it funny that the same people who are saying this post is basically dumb and completely wrong still fail to provide any reason other than the ones specified in the guest post as to why Macs are better.

    Yes, certain industries tend to use one over the other (not necessarily always a Mac), but most of these people will simply look at it as using a computer at work, and really it comes down to a program/industry software preference rather than a PC vs. Mac OS/hardware/reliability thing. I can’t imagine that this post was aimed at that aspect of the PC vs. Mac thing.

    I’m gonna guess it was more the people that won’t even consider a Windows PC just because “it’s not a Mac” or because Macs are the trendy thing…or because some fanboy at the Apple store tells them they can’t use iTunes on a PC when mom’s buying the first iPod, making Macs officially the best thing ever. Some people don’t know any better.

    Then there’s same people that justify with the reasons Maria gave above, yet can provide me absolutely no evidence that their computer crashes less than mine…I can’t remember the last time I had a BSOD, virus, lockup, or random shutdown. It’s kind of hard to crash or have performance issues less than never, isn’t it? There goes that argument.

    It’s like a few other commenters have said above…….it’s entirely personal preference. I will agree that the whole PC vs. Mac argument is stupid. If you like the way Garageband records better than Audacity, get a Mac. If you like some of the many Windows-only PC games…..get a PC. If you want half the computer at twice the price, get a Mac. If you want one over the other because it looks prettier, you shouldn’t be buying a computer to begin with.

  13. I used Windows based computers until I bought a Macbook Pro for school this year. Definitely prefer the Mac. It freezes way less than any Windows computer I’ve used. I did have one kernel panic though, similar to a Windows blue screen of death. The aluminum it’s made out of seems incredibly durable. OS X takes some getting used to after using Windows for a decade, but I prefer it now. And: 6 hour battery life, with wi-fi on and screen at half brightness. Few windows laptops can do that right out of the box. You can also install Windows on Macs now and have the benefits of both operating systems.

    I wanted to clear up some confusion I saw in the previous comments though:

    1. iTunes music will only play on Apple devices – Not true, anymore. Any music you’ve bought since (I think) 2009 on iTunes are unprotected .AAC files that will play on tons of devices. Apple was forced by the recording industry to put DRM on their music before that time, just the same as Microsoft’s Zune store was. Amazon also sells music without DRM now, and iTunes can play it just fine.

    2 – Macs do have right click. Plug in any USB mouse and you’ll see that right click works just fine. On an Apple notebook, right click is control-click I believe.

    3 – Customer service: I’ve only ever had to call once, when my iPhone was acting weird, and the guy I spoke to was incredibly helpful and made sure all my problems were taken care of. I guess CS is variable though, depending on who get.

  14. I agree with other commenters here. It is all personal preference. Its the exact same arguements for Iphone vs Android. I prefer PC’s and Android because they give me options and different choices. Imagine if you will that microsoft and apple sold jeans instead of computers. You could go to the apple store and get the 1-size-fits-all-1-style pair of jeans, or you could go the microsoft route and pick your size and style for your situation. When all is said and done though, they do the exact same things.

  15. My (unemployed) girlfriend had a macbook that she used all through college. It lasted 5 years with only a hard drive(overpriced) replacement needed. That’s pretty damn impressive for a laptop. It finally broke down a few months ago and she’s been bugging me to get her one for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary combined. I just looked at her like she was insane. I can get her a netbook with the same functionality for her needs for 300. I can buy 7 of those damn things for the price of a new macbook. I can replace it every year so that her hardware is current rather than locking her into the same piece of overpriced hardware for the next 7 years. Additionally, if she loses or breaks her netbook it won’t be as costly to replace.

    Macs are great, I can’t argue that if you put a high end Acer laptop and a Macbook side then Macbook will come out on top. The point is that the Macbook costs twice as much. If you can afford it that’s great. But I can afford it and I still won’t buy it. It’s about diversifying risk of theft and damage. Additionally, replacement and upgrade parts for the Acer are far cheaper than the Macbook. I have heard from several friends who are professional video and photo editors that Macs are the best choice for their profession. I can live with that, but for the majority of end users who do not need a Mac for professional (revenue generating!) reasons, it’s not necessary. It’s like getting that insane GPS package for your car when your smart phone already does it.

    • While a $300 netbook might meet your girlfriend’s needs, it’s not in the same league as a Macbook or Macbook Pro or even a midpriced ($800-$1000) Dell/HP/etc. Also, a new Macbook only costs $1000, not $2100.

      • That’s my point. Most people who own Macbooks do NOT need the hardware inside. It’s like those people who buy an SUV and rarely utilize it’s full capacity. Why not just get a small sedan. Price points taken, that means I can buy 3 netbooks which really reduces that argument.

    • If my MacBook Pro only lasts five years, I will punch Steve Jobs in the face myself. I hate the crappiest laptop you could imagine (a Gateway) for five years. Of course, it was five years of taking the thing to Best Buy once every six months because it had a virus or wouldn’t recognize discs, etc. But I still expect my MacBook to last longer than that damn Gateway.

      • I honestly don’t know how long a Macbook is supposed to last, but 5 years is damn good for a laptop. They are not built to be durable decade spanning machines because the technology shifts so fast that no one wants to pay a premium for a solidly built laptop that will last 10 years. By the time you’re on year 5 it’s really time to upgrade, ESPECIALLY if you’re video editing.

  16. I debated about getting a MAC or PC just a few months ago. I will have to concur with previous posters, its about what you need it to do. It is a complete WASTE of money to buy something that frankly won’t do what you need it do. Frankly MAC’s are great but when you have to buy a 13′ mac because you want a Mac but are squinting to see your PDF document…you have priority issues.

    Aesthics are great but my priorities are listed as budget, performance then aesthics. Not in reverse because anything else would=dumb. I want to add to this rant…I can’t stand those people who buy computers will 8GB, designated graphics card, HDMI port, 4 USB ports not to mention ever software known to man but only need to computer to write the occasional document and send an email….simply put DUMB

  17. I love Apple, even if my iMac did recently give me a scare. I thought the hardrive was crashing, but it’s fine now. Maybe it’s just mad I installed iLife ’11 on Snow Leopard. After all, this little guy was built for Tiger.

    I love my iPad and my iPhone 4.. heck I’m typing this from iPad right now, and it is a happy part of my day.

    I interact with Marias often. They can’t always be won over, but that’s ok. Everyone just needs to get the system that works for them. Buy what you like and call it a day. I like all my iCrap in sync — I don’t want a $500 PC to wrestle with. I don’t even know how to work Windows anymore, and am really not interested in learning — not even for the lower price point.

    Hope Maria doesn’t come after me for my skinny jeans and Ray Bans!

  18. It’s funny that this is one argument that always gets people riled up just like religion or politics. My brother has been using Macs for over 10 years because he works in the film industry, and even he will be the first to argue that what Apple has been doing is exactly the same sort of strong-arming that Microsoft had been doing for decades. In that sense, I don’t like Apple, but I also don’t like Microsoft for the same reasons, so I can’t fully say it’s an Apple problem vs. a capitalist society problem.

    I work on a PC at work, but at home I have a Mac, and I personally see it as 2 crappy choices – either way you’re dealing with some level of frustration (financial, technical, etc), and so it’s up to you to decide which aspects are more or less important to you (Linux is really not a viable option for the majority of us, before anyone tries to make that argument). I live with an Apple Fanboy, and the lengths he’ll go to in order to defend Apple are quite hilarious to me, but clearly there’s plenty of people who are “PC Fanboys” also, as you can see in the replies above!

  19. I can’t really say that I’ve had extensive experience with Apple products (except for my iPod shuffle, 2nd gen.) simply because of the price tag.

    I imagine that Macs are probably pretty great, but until they’re more accessible to those of us with smaller budgets I think that PC will continue to be the go-to platform. I bought my Toshiba PC laptop for $350 (on clearance) and it’s really worked quite well for what I need it to do. My HP desktop (2005) was salvaged after a hard drive crash and it’s still alive and kicking as well.

    At this point in the game, I’ll probably never be more than an Apple iPod-carrying customer for the reasons of cost and when it comes down to it, I’m just comfortable with what I know about the operations of PC’s.

  20. 1. I hate Mac because of their lack of upgrade-ability (except for the super expensive ones).
    1a. I hate Mac because they’re super expensive.
    2. I hate Mac because I can’t build my own box and then throw their OS on it (ZOMG you have to use our OS with our computers, nothing else!)
    3. I’m a Linux user, so suck it. Even though I’ve had this box built for over a year now and am still running Windows on it (WTF is wrong with me?).

    I like being able to build my own box and put any OS I want on it. I don’t like restrictions. I don’t like overpriced hardware.

    • You can build a machine and put OSX on it. I’ve done it using an intel based machine. Also, if you hate Macs so much, why would you want their OS?

      Also, throwing out that you’re a Linux user doesn’t make you sound cooler than anyone else. So suck it.

  21. No offense peeps but do you realize its still a PC world? most fortune 500 not to mention fortune 1000 still use PC’s!

    • Apple has surpassed Microsoft though. It’s the second most valuable company in the world after Exxon, so I wouldn’t really say it’s a PC world..

      What about when all the Apple fan kids graduate college and take over the fortune 500 companies and insist on Mac? :p

  22. Technology does not define who you are. An ipad will not make you cool or lift your self esteem. You will not get laid because you have an iphone. Do the research and find what product is best for you weather it may be a pc or mac, iphone or android, osx or windows.

    Why bring such a ugly argument to this site? I get enough of it on cnet and endgadget lol!

  23. My PC’s have lasted years longer than the Mac’s that cost twice as much that my friends have owned, so I am siding with PC’s. Maybe it’s the humidity in Houston or something, but Mac’s just die within 2-3 years around here. But, I do really like my Ipod Nano and my husband really enjoys the 80gb Ipod he “borrowed” from me (stole 2 years ago, lol). 🙂

  24. The writer totally blew it when she said that PC and MAC operating systems are ‘basically the same thing’.

    Obviously she does not know enough about computers to make an assessment either way.

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