HomeexpensesA rant.

A rant.

I can’t believe all the crap you women buy. It’s unbelievable. Girl Ninja and I are heading to Palm Desert, CA in a few days for Thanksgiving and we decided to do carry-ons for the short getaway. Since TSA restricts liquids to a maximum of 3oz per object, we had to head to the store to get some travel sized toiletries.

Look, I have no problem with GN wanting to be sanitized, beautified, and lotionized, but after she grabbed her fourth and fifth product I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, homegirl picked up some travel shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, body lotion, and face lotion. Are you kidding me? Really? Is all that necessary?

Maybe it’s a guy thing, but when it comes to cleanliness I only need one product. Shampoo. Who needs body wash, or face wash, or lotion, or conditioner when you have a bottle of Cucumber and Green Tea Dove Shampoo? I just rub the shampoo around my head until it gets soapy and then proceed to use that soap to clean the rest of my body. Heck I even use it to shave. Works like a charm, and by my precise calculations saves me A TON of money each year.

I’m convinced IKEA would go out of business tomorrow if the female population went extinct. As GN and I discuss our future home furnishings, there are few things we agree on. We need a bed, a couch, and a TV. We don’t need 98 different glass vases (filled with seashells) sitting on the bathroom counter. Nor do I care if my wall is painted white, off-white, eggshell, or ivory.

And don’t even get me started on decorative pillows. I mean do we really need to buy pillows that we aren’t actually allowed to use? “What do you mean I have to take them off the bed and put them in a trunk before I can go to sleep, only to wake up and have to put them back on the bed again?” Ahhhhh!

Men shop with a purpose. Women don’t. 

Let’s say John wants to buy a new shirt for work. His wife Tara, also needs a new dress shirt. They both have the same objective, but their process to completing the goal is usually very different. Before John even gets in his car to go to the mall, he already has an idea of what color and style of shirt he wants as well as what store he’d prefer to buy it from. John walks in to Banana Republic and five minutes later comes out victorious. He got his shirt.

Tara on the other hand, drives to the mall with three of her best friends. She gets caught up in “girls day” and after three hours of shopping, two new pairs of shoes, a salad from Cheesecake Factory, a new toaster oven from Crate & Barrel, and a tall non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks, Tara heads home. Later that night, she shows John what she got at the mall. It’s not until this point that she remembers the reason she went shopping in the first place: for a shirt. “Oh well” she thinks, “I’ll just go back tomorrow.”

MEN: Anything I’m missing, or that you’d like to add?

WOMEN: What are some stereotypical guy things that get underneath your skin? Now is your chance to even the playing field 😉

note: Yes I know this whole post was dramatic, stereotyping, and probably offensive to some. Get over it. My blog is called Punch Debt In The Face, and in case you didn’t know, I should almost never be taken seriously.



  1. La la sexism sexism sexism YAWN.

    As a data point, my husband is the only one who buys branded hair products (including shampoo, conditioner, mousse) in the house – I wash my hair hippie-style with baking soda and vinegar, and it looks awesome.

    Maybe it’s because I don’t buy that many clothes ( but I don’t really ‘get’ shopping – I do tend to research clothes prices online but only because it’s hard to find things in the right style, size and cut that I like. But I treat clothes stores like a precise SWAT mission. In, grab, fitting room, checkout, OUT.

  2. I’m one of the few women out there that doesn’t enjoy clothes shopping; honestly, I really don’t care for! Even after losing 20 lbs, I’m still wearing the same shirts (luckily, I’ve got some clothes that I put away in suitcases before we moved that are smaller sizes, and I managed to find 2 pairs of pants I can now wear). I’ll go through my old stuff before I buy anything new; it’s killing me to know I’ll likely have to buy a new winter coat! Hubby and I both enjoy shopping for home stuff, but the most decorative things we’ve bought are pictures for the walls; we’re not big on clutter.

    I can agree with the whole potions and lotions that most women need/want… I’ve had to curtail my love of all things make-up/toiletteries, and when I make a list to pack for a vacation, the toiletteries list is ALWAYS longer than the clothing list!

    And just a Tall Mild Ninjabucks for me, please; I’m too old to rhyme off or remember any other type of caffeine beverage 😉

  3. I’m happy with maybe just 3 or 4 interchangeable outfits and I do not like going to the mall, so it is normally Kohl’s for me. I use minimal make-up and face/hair care products, and my husband has found he likes what I use, so he uses it too, LOL. I guess there is a big difference between high-maintenance and low-maintenance, and you are just finding that out!

  4. Ha! Nice. Lol, my wife and I went on this cruise that we won once. We decided to pack light so it would be an easy, fun trip. I had one little duffle bag. My wife comes out with this huge suitcase and then a bunch of other smaller bags. Turns out, the woman had packed 7 pairs of shoes. SEVEN! For a week-long cruise? Don’t we only need flip flops? I appreciate that she wants to look pretty and all that, but… well … lol, your post really hit it on the head.

  5. It appears you have a little bit of a high maintenance wife, but you like her that way so perhaps you should stop complaining. However, most girls are more sensitive to products than men so Girl Ninja probably has a really good reason for picking up more products than you.

  6. “Nor do I care if my wall is painted white, off-white, eggshell, or ivory.”

    I really don’t care what color your wall is painted either. But when I had my home painted about five years ago, the painter (who turned out to be an interesting combination of artist and con man) asked me first what colors I wanted. “White,” I said. He suggested a few different colors for the kitchen and bathroom, and a shade of gold for the hallway. It took some getting used to, but I started taking a more active interest in the process. To make a long story short: by the time the job was finished (and costing more than I had ever imagined), my walls had finally taken on various shades of gold, red, and dark orange. I would never recommend this painter or use him again (since he turned out to be one of the most dishonest people I’ve ever encountered), but I love how much life this color scheme has given the place.

  7. Hmm..Well I’m guilty of many things above. I love shopping for clothes and shoes. My closet is constantly getting smaller, if you get my point.

    Do I care what color the wall is? Not right now? But according to my pinterest boards I will when I get a house.

  8. I went shopping for a dress shirt in May, went into about 10 different stores, and couldn’t find anything that fit. I’m tall, and the few manufacturers that carry women’s tall sizes don’t usually do so for tops in store. Given my issues finding things that fit right in stores, I refuse to shop online. I’m convinced that men have things a LOT easier in that respect. You get more measurement options than we do. And even if those measurements aren’t “true to size,” at least there’s more than one option for that dimension.

    I have long, curly hair, so if I don’t use tons of conditioner, my hair turns into a matted mess. If I don’t use some kind of styling product for it, it turns into a frizzy mess. Sensitive dry skin means I need particular soaps/lotions that I know won’t irritate it. My tip for GN would be to get little empty travel bottles and decant your own stuff into them rather than buying samples every time. They’re reusable and then you know exactly what you’re getting.

    I will say that about 50% of my shampoo/conditioner and soap product decisions are based on their smell.

  9. I am so grateful with God for having sent me my wife, she only has soap, shampoo and just another hair thing.

    She even does her shopping faster than me! I love her!


  10. I used to make bets with my ex that I could make my “shampoo/body wash/conditioner/kitchen sink” last longer than her GIANT bottles of shampoo & conditioner. She actually had to go buy them 2 more times after that before I ran out. Then again, she had about 1000x more hair on her head than I did.

    The only time me shopping for clothes takes longer than her is if I am looking for ties. They make so many different types I get overwhelmed haha.

  11. I’m high maintenance about hair, skin and nails, I admit it. It’s actually a little bit ridiculous. I mean, who needs 50 deep conditioners (I’m black with about a 14 inch afro, so deep conditioners are NOT optional in my household)? And who needs 450 nail polishes? THIS GIRL!! And 130 eyeliners, but I digress…:)

    But my boyfriend also changes 3-4 times before we go to ANY event (I’m one and done), has 150 ties, 17 colognes to my 5 perfumes, and I don’t want to know how many watches. His carry-on toiletries rival mine, so we both LONG ago learned not to complain about the other, so long as everything has a place and doesn’t create clutter.

    Hey, it is what it is. Lord knows I haven’t changed since he met me ;).

  12. You say : Men shop with a purpose. Women don’t.
    Perhaps you forgot the SOME : Some men shop with a purpose, some women don’t.
    Or maybe it’s an American thing.

  13. I agree there are huge differences in men and women when it comes to shopping. The cure is very simple though, you stick a budget and a list. It keeps you far more focused! As an aside, I love the differences. My wife will shop for me for all those incidentals all I have to do is give her a list.

  14. Yes, stereotype much. I am a woman and I hate shopping as an activity but do enjoy spending money. Or maybe I just HATE clothes shopping. I shop exactly as the typical man you described above. I may even determine the exact shirt online or order online to prevent any/much time at the dreaded mall.

    In terms of liking to spend I do love searching for deals and spending money on and on tech gear.

  15. And what happens when a man goes to a home improvement store? He’ll be gone for hours, come home with gadgets that will never get used (honey, we don’t even have any tile in the house, why do you need a tile cutter?) and forget the lightbulbs that were supposed to be purchased. It goes both ways.

  16. It all depends. I can go into a store, get a shirt, get dinner and get out in under ten minutes. That would be walmart.
    Now if I went to best buy all bets are off.

  17. I’m definitely guilty for wanting/buying lotions, creams, stying products (to tame my naturally curly locks) but my husband is guilty of this as well…then again it only started with him after he met me apparently lol!
    I don’t wear much make-up and I am not a clothes fiend but I enjoy beauty products. I’m now trying to use out all of the half-used bottles in the houses before buying new products. Yep I am a sucker for packaging and smell 🙁

  18. LMAO. I am about 50/50 on this. For somethings I have the “get-in and get-out” mentality but every once and awhile I’ll actually go shopping, shopping.

  19. I am convinced that if The Wife left me tomorrow the only things in my house would be a much larger television, less but more comfy seating and my fish tank.

    Almost nothing in my house is mine lol. I don’t give a shit about the non-family pics on the wall, the window “treatment” or the damn duvet (sp?) of which I own 3

  20. Something that men* do that makes me crazy:

    For a woman, to “look” for something means we go in a room, or the car, or wherever we think the something might be, and we actually hunt for it. We open drawers, look under cushions, move stacks of paper (you know, if you are the type of people who have stacks of paper around), search, and actually use our hands, eyes, and brains to try and find the thing.

    Men* look for things by standing in the middle of the room, rotating their head slightly to see if the item is somewhere obvious. Then they shout,”Hon, do you know where my [important item] is? I can’t find it anywhere!”

    I kid you not, my husband’s idea of “looking” for something involves about 1.5 seconds and no actual work.

    *Based on my father and my husband…so if it turns out they aren’t typical of all men, my ideas may be skewed.

    • LOL. Totally agree. It’s easier for me to just get up and get said item that is usually right in front of the hubs face than to yell back and forth across the house. Seriously, just pick something up and look!

  21. You use shampoo?? Man… I haven’t touched that stuff in years stop wasting your money. It can take a few weeks for your hair to adjust but it definitely isn’t needed. What products do I use? A razer, deodorant and a comb.

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